Babies Here, There and Everywhere

It's quite hard to ignore the fact that most of my friends are either expecting their 1st, 2nd or 3rd child @ already have 2/3 little ones lined up already. They literally advertise their children's cute faces and their small family's happiness everywhere, on YM, Friendster and also some even Blog about them. At the same time they parade on how complete their life are with the little cutie pies that they call their own. Right in our faces, 'our' referring to us people who are still very much single and childless.

I hate it.
Well, I don't really hate it actually, it's just that I'm envious.

Because, it just reminds me what I am missing out on and what I don't have.

I don't know what's with babies.
What do they have on us?
What do they have against us?

Do they have magic powers that by just looking at them, we just fall in love?
Is their cutest smile just so unbearable that we can't take our eyes off them?
Do they have spell-binding voices that you just can't help wanting more?
They just have a way of pulling us closer indirectly, shouting and screaming for attention.

Do I have too much love to give that I'm just in dire need of sharing and giving it to a jr. me?
Or is it just something that people just think about when they reach that certain age in life?
Or is it just an indication that they are settling down?

I don't want a child to just prove to myself that I'm ready to no longer be me, as I am, single and somewhat loveless.
I don't need a child to just keep me company.
I don't want a child to just tell people that I am prepared for responsibilities and adulthood.
And I obviously don't need a child to just have somebody call me "Mummy..". I can get a doll to do that.

I want to have a child to love and cherish.
I want to give my everything, my all.
I want to share me, my life, my love.

But I know that there are bigger plans laid out for me.
I honestly believe that there is fairness and equality eventhough sometimes we might not see it's existence.
Everybody have their fair share of life, good or bad, babies or no babies.

And I truly believe that when I'm 100% ready and when the right time comes, my dreams will come true.
It might not be exactly like I've always dreamed off, but I will accept whatever the future has installed for me.
Because I'm a believer, and I believe that in time , if I work hard, pray hard and wish hard for something, and it's the best for me, that it would happen.

In time...

"They don't always happen when you ask, And it's easy to give in to your fears, But when you're blinded by your pain, Can't see your way straight through the rain, Small but still, resilient voice Says love is very near....There can be miracles, when you believe, Though hope is frail, its hard to kill, Who knows what miracles you can achieve, When you believe, somehow you will, You will when you believe..."