Missing Brighton's Delicious Donuts

We spent Friday night at Bai's house in Brighton. A de-stressing trip for me & jaja, the second trip here for both of us. When we arrived at Brighton, while waiting for Bai to pick us up, we just chilled at the pebbled beach, laying down and listening to old Malay songs, and munching down the delicious donuts and fish&chips. Just breathing in all the fresh air and cold breeze, enjoying the view and the beautiful sky that seems so close that I could just reach out and touch the white clouds.

It was a relaxing trip, just a night stay at Brighton. We arrived at their house, Huda cooked tomyam. Yummy, it's nice to have somebody cook for you once in a while. We even requested for nasi lemak for breakfast the following morning. Hehe..

On Saturday we waked the streets of Brighton, the markets, boot sale, and it was enjoyable. Brighton is a very nice place to stay, which brings me to the notion that I don't quite understand why the only thing that I always hear from Bai is that she wants to go home and she doesn't enjoy it here. Maybe it's because her husband is back in Malaysia, but the decision has been made right? So, a reminder to myself also, all those ungrateful times I regret my decision coming here in the first place, was so unnecessary. Yeah, By coming here, I have missed out on a lot, and I do miss a lot of things, but I made the decision to come here, even if it were for the wrong things, but it all turn out alright. I am here, and I have been here for more than a year since Feb08. Despite all my bitching and grumblings, I do love it here. Time of reflection, time of coming to terms on who are your real friends, who does really remember and care for you and most importantly, a process of getting to know myself more, challenging and loving myself and the time for only me.

Make the most out of it, the most out of the experience that I have gained, the pleasure that I have been so fortunate to experience. In June/July, when I have to leave this place, it would be heartbreaking in a way. London has been my home for a year, this is where I belonged for the past months, and I would miss the times that I have had here.

My friends and senior lecturers were insisting for me to continue my doctorate straight away, but I think it's time for me to go home. My real home, for a while. So many things I need to do, a lot of unfinished business, and the need to get back on track and on par with all the things I have missed. Who knows, I might get the opportunity once again to come here, or explore other beautiful places later on.

When I come home, I might have changed.
It'll be unfair to expect me not to change at all after all the things that I have been through, the separation, the times apart, the 'back-to-being-totally-independent' has changed me a little, if not much.
But I'm still me.
I'm the still the same person who has fears of the future and what it has installed for me, but I hope that the past year has taught me to be strong, work hard for my future and never forgetting to chill, because a little fun, and being happy can never go wrong.

And I know, a lot of things at home has changed.
I will need to do a lot of adjusting before I can get comfortable back in my old shoes.
One step at a time, right?
Change is always hard but inevitable.

Now I have to focus on getting my work done.
A few weeks has passed but I'm still putting things into perspective. Please do pray for me, I need very good grades to achieve distinction for my overall MSc.


Peace out.



Me, Myself and I.