Criminal of Love

Love is confusing the hell out of me, seriously. I can't do anything without having just the mere thought of it. And it hurts, like hell. But all I have to do is just grow up, I think. I know I'm being such a spoiled brat, I want him to always be with me, hear me out, talk to me, and I want to always talk to him, be with him and hear on to everything he has to say and offer. It just feels different now ever since that day. I'm just clinging on to something that I really am not sure wants me to cling on to. I seriously don't know what to do. I've tried my best, I've given my all but I still come out short.

No matter how I try, I keep on losing to my feelings. The mere thought of not being able to get back into his life, is excruciatingly painful. Being far apart doesn't help either. The thought of her always finding opportunities to hang on to him and re-live their past doesn't help much either. I'm such a fool I know.

Maybe I am turning out to be that man ini one of the stories that I watched.
He has a mouse.
He loved his mouse so much he doesn't want to let him go.
He keeps on holding on to him, sometimes to hard and just won;t let him breath.
In the end, he squashed the mouse, with his bare hands and killed it.
Loving the mouse so hard, suffocating him, is the mistake and regret that he lived with his entire life.

I don't want to be that guy.

I want a love that's far beyond that.
The trust is more worthy than love.
Love is more worthy than lust.

I'm trapped in my own make-believe love prison.
I am the criminal of love.

Please guide me.
Please don't let me destroy my love.
For, I Love Him.
More than words could ever say.